Blaming, name-calling, belitting, depriving of rights, lying, embarassing, ignoring, and judging are only a few examples of behaviors no one wants to experience in the workpace. Unfortunately, the people applying these behaviors may be your customer, coworker, or even your boss. If you are the recipient of any of these behaviors at your job, you may be experiencing verbal, emotional, and psychological abuse in the workplace.
How you handle your abuse depends on whether or not the abuser has direct authority over you. If the abuse is from your supervisor, you are in a precarious situation because the supervisor does have direct authority over you. You can try to talk to your supervisor to resolve the abuse. If your attempts fail, you can talk to your supervisor’s manager; however, doing so can be extremely risky. Often, managers have the mindset of unconditionally supporting the supervisors they manage and the manager may ask your supervisor to “handle” the situation. Your supervisor may perceive you as a troublemaker trying to undermine the supervisor and in turn, your supervisor may intensify the abuse toward you. Furthermore, if the organization for which you work is a hire at will state, laws allow your supervisor to fire you “at will” without cause. Thus, you may find yourself without a job simply because you tried to stop the abuse.
Besides talking to you supervisor or your supervisor’s manager, you can consider mediation if your supervisor agrees to participate. You can also consider talking with human resources, employee relations, your employee assistance program, labor relations, your union, your legal department, the chief executive officer, your organization’s president, equal employment opportunity, your attorney, your minister, your priest, your rabbi, or your counselor. Be aware that human resources in particular as well as the other areas you contact within your company may not offer you confidentiality and they may call your manager who in turn, may want to retaliate against you or try to fire you rather than cooperate.
If you receive abuse from a coworker or other employee, these people do not have authority over you so you have safer options for handling their abuse. You can talk to the abuser, talk to your own supervisor, talk to the abuser’s supervisor, or consider the same options that exist if you are the recipient of abuse from your supervisor. Likewise, if the abuse is from a customer and you need help in handling the situation, you can ask a coworker or your boss for help or ask to be removed from the situation. If at any time, you feel you are in physical danger, definitely seek help and remove yourself from the situation.
If you receive abuse only once from a person, consider whether or not they are under stress and whether their abuse is a one-time occurence. If, however, you are the recipient of continual abuse, you have to decide if you want to stay in your position, transfer, or resign. If you have tried to resolve the abuse without success, why would you want to stay in an abusive work situation? Some people answer this question by saying they were abused as children and abuse is a familiar experience to them. They believe abuse is everywhere so they choose to stay in their current position.
If you you decide to leave or transfer to another position, first believe that work opportunities without abuse do exist for you. You do not have to suffer the effects of poor health, lack of motivation, wounded ego, and low self-esteem as a result of abuse. Second, you will need a competitive resume, effective interviewing skills, and job search strategies. Third, when you do receive an offer for another job, before accepting it, ask to speak with some of the employees who report to the same supervisor to which you will report. Ask their experiences with the person who would be your supervisor. By so doing, you can avoid accepting another position in which you may experience abuse.
Why do people act abusively? The reasons vary and range from people wanting power, lacking empathy, modeling others, lacking social skills, or having a mental health disorder. The list goes on and on. Regardless of the reason, what you do about your abuse depends on you. Everyone, including you, deserves respect. Your goal is to find it!
ABOUT THE WRITER
Terry L. Wynne, Ed.S., LPC, BCC, NCC, NCCC, CCC
The Professional Edge
www.TheProfessionalEdgeAtlanta.com
Terry L. Wynne, owner of The Professional Edge, is a Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in career counseling and a Board Certified Coach specializing in career coaching. The Professional Edge offers career counseling, career coaching, resume and cover letter writing, training, speaking, writing, and voiceovers.
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